Only You
by BettyHall223
Summary: Sam's wedding day is approaching and Jack needs to get away, but the unthinkable happens to change their lives in an instant.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

Spring had finally arrived in Colorado Springs after a cold winter and Sam loved riding her Indian again after having to drive her car during the long winter months. She gripped the throttle of her motorcycle as the cool air blew against her. Weaving in and out of traffic, she hoped she would not get stopped by the police. She knew she was going too fast since the road was still wet from a brief rain shower, but she had to get to Jack's house before he left for Minnesota.

When she had arrived at the Mountain earlier this morning, she hurried to Jack's office to tell him her important news. Running up the steps and coming to the top of the stairs, she could see Jack through the window of his office. His door was closed and he was pacing while talking on the phone. Daniel and Teal'c were already seated at the briefing room table as she realized she wouldn't get to speak with Jack in private until later. Heading to the locker room, she changed into her BDU's, quickly returned to join her teammates and saw that Jack was still on the phone but was now sitting at his desk. As she chatted with Teal'c and Daniel, Jack finally came out of his office as Daniel looked up at him.

"Morning, Jack. You were on the phone for quite awhile. Something big going on?"

"Nothing that I can discuss" he answered as he sat down. "Let's get on with the briefing so we can get you through the gate to the treaty negotiations. I have something else I need to do."

Her heart sank, realizing she wouldn't get to speak with Jack until they returned from the planet.

As the team had walked up the ramp, she turned and looked back at Jack and saw him staring at her with sadness in his eyes. The look surprised her as she stepped through the event horizon.

Daniel had done an excellent job of putting together the terms of the treaty that the leaders of the people on the planet had agreed to and everything had gone smoothly. After the treaty was signed, she, Daniel and Teal'c headed back to the stargate, knowing that Jack would be pleased with the outcome.

As the team came through the gate, they were surprised to see General Hammond waiting for them instead of Jack.

Daniel was the first one down the ramp. "General Hammond, welcome back."

The General held out his hand to shake Daniel's. "Dr. Jackson."

Sam smiled as she came to a stop beside Daniel and saluted. "Sir."

General Hammond returned the salute. "Hello, Colonel."

Teal'c stepped off the ramp and tipped his head in greeting. "General Hammond, it is good to see you."

"Good to see you too, Teal'c."

"Is this an official visit, sir?" she asked.

"Part vacation, part business. After your post-mission checks, meet me upstairs."

The three of them glanced at each other as they headed to the infirmary, wondering what was going on.

After stopping to chat with Walter for a few minutes, General Hammond climbed the stairs to the briefing room and sat down at the table as he remembered the conversation he had with Jack when he had stopped by for a visit in Washington two weeks ago.

_He had been buried in paperwork when his assistant informed him that Jack O'Neill was here to see him. A smile came to his face as Jack entered his office and he stood up to shake hands with his friend._

"_Jack, how are you?"_

"_I'm okay, George, how are you?"_

"_I'm good. Have a seat."_

_He closed the door and sat back down at his desk as Jack sat in the chair across from him and set his briefcase on the floor._

"_This is a nice surprise. What brings you here?"_

"_Meeting with the President and the Joint Chiefs to tell them my decision."_

"_What decision is that?"_

_He watched as Jack opened his briefcase, pulled out an envelope and handed it to him._

"_My resignation, sir."_

"_Resignation . . . but . . ."_

_Jack held up his hand. "Sir, please don't try to talk me out of this. I want to retire. You already know that I was never all that happy being in charge of the base. This is for the best. I've recommended Hank Landry for the job. I think he'd be perfect and I don't think there will be a problem getting him approved."_

"_I don't know what to say, Jack. As you know, I was hoping you would take over my job when I retire."_

"_Not going to happen, sir. I've had enough. I want to get out while I still have what little is left of my sanity."_

_He stood up, came around the desk and leaned against it. Pausing for a moment, he noticed how tired Jack looked. "I certainly understand but let me ask you something."_

"_Yes, sir?"_

"_Does this retirement have anything to do with a certain attractive and intelligent woman in your chain of command that is engaged to be married soon?"_

_Jack looked down at his hands and didn't speak._

"_When I heard about Sam's engagement, I knew it would upset you, although you would never let anyone know that."_

_He paused for a moment._

"_I remember the day that you and Sam met, I saw the sparks fly between you. You became teammates, then you became friends. That friendship grew into respect and admiration on both your parts. I saw the many times that you or Sam would try to hide how upset you would get when the other was missing or injured. It didn't surprise me in the least when the zatarc test revealed your feelings for each other. I wasn't blind to what was happening all those years. You have fallen in love with Sam and now that she's engaged to another man, it's breaking your heart."_

_Jack raised his head and stared out the window. "I can't . . . I can't watch her marry someone else, George, and I can't work with her any more. It's just too much."_

"_I understand. So, what are your plans?"_

"_Sell my house and move to Minnesota."_

"_You'll miss Dr. Jackson and Teal'c. Are you sure you don't want to stay in Colorado?"_

"_I'm sure. If they want to see me, they are more than welcome to come visit me at my cabin and that invitation extends to you too."_

"_Thanks. I might just take you up on that."_

"_I have a big favor to ask, George."_

"_Anything I can do."_

"_You may think this is the coward's way out and maybe it is but I'd like for you to tell Daniel, Teal'c and Carter that I've resigned and after you tell them, you can tell everyone else. I just want to leave quietly without anyone knowing, without having to tell people goodbye. I know what's going to happen. Daniel will get upset whether it's me or you that tells him. Teal'c may not like it but he'll be the most understanding and as far as Sam . . . I don't know what she'll think."_

"_You've been at Stargate Command for a long time and you've made a lot of friends while you've been there, Jack. Don't you think they'd all like to have the chance to give you a retirement party?"_

"_I don't want one."_

"_Have you and Sam talked about how you feel about each other since the zatarc test? Now that you're retiring, you won't be Sam's CO any more. This is the perfect time for you to let her know you love her. I have a feeling she's with Pete just because she thinks she can't be with you."_

_Jack stood up, wandered over to the window and looked outside. "She chose Shanahan over me, George. She didn't want to wait. It's too late for us. If she loves him, then she should be with him."_

_He could hear the bitterness in Jack's voice. "Give her a chance to choose."_

_Jack turned around. "Will you do this for me . . . please?"_

_He sighed and nodded his head. "Yes, I will."_

"_Thank you, sir. I'll let you know when I've worked out the details."_

General Hammond came back to the present as he heard someone coming up the stairs and he looked up to see Sam.

"Have a seat, Colonel."

Sitting down, Sam glanced around. "Where's General O'Neill, sir?"

"Let's wait until Dr. Jackson and Teal'c get here and I'll explain."

As they waited, they discussed his job in Washington, his daughter and grandchildren. He was about to ask Sam if she had seen Jacob recently but was interrupted when Daniel and Teal'c came into the room.

"Where's Jack?" Daniel asked as he and Teal'c sat down at the table.

The General set up straighter in his chair. "He's why I'm here. I wanted you to be the first to know."

Sam suddenly had a feeling of dread. "What's going on, sir?"

"Jack has resigned, effective immediately. He's retiring."

Daniel's eyes grew wide. "Resigned?"

Sam stared at him. "But . . . why, sir?"

"Personal reasons. He gave me his resignation two weeks ago and asked me not to say anything to you or anyone else until now. When he knew that you would be off-world today to have the treaty signed, he asked me to come meet you when you arrived back on Earth and explain what's going on."

Daniel stared at the General. "Couldn't he have at least said goodbye to Teal'c, Sam and me?"

"This is the way he wanted it, Doctor. You all know that Jack is not one for big send-offs so he thought it would be easier this way."

"It isn't easier for us" Daniel spoke loudly. "How dare he do this! After all these years that we were a team, all these years of being friends and he just walks out without saying a word to the three people he's been closest to for the past eight years!"

"As I said, Dr. Jackson, this is what he wanted."

General Hammond opened a file folder and inside were three envelopes.

"Jack left a letter for each of you. I know this isn't what you expected but Jack has been considering retirement since . . . well, for the past few months."

As General Hammond handed out the envelopes, Sam stared at hers. "Carter" was written on the front.

Daniel sighed. "Is there not some way we can change his mind?"

General Hammond shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

"Who will be the new commander?" Teal'c asked.

"General Hank Landry. Jack has known Hank for a long time and Jack recommended him. The President and Joint Chiefs have given their approval and he will be arriving tomorrow."

Sam gripped the letter. "Is General O'Neill staying here in the Springs, sir?"

General Hammond leaned up and rested his arms on the table as he stared into Sam's eyes. "He's leaving today for Minnesota."

Sam suddenly had the feeling that he was trying to tell her that if she wanted to see Jack, she needed to act quickly.

"May I be excused, sir?"

She saw a glint in the General's eyes, knowing that he understood what she was about to do.

"You're excused, Colonel."

Sam stood up. "Thank you, sir."

Daniel watched Sam hurry away. "I think I know the real reason Jack retired."

General Hammond raised his eyebrows. "Oh, you do?"

"Sure. Jack retired because he's in love with Sam but since she's engaged to Pete, he doesn't want to stick around for the wedding."

General Hammond chuckled. "Always knew you were pretty observant, Dr. Jackson."

"You knew how they felt about each other for a long time too, sir, you just never said anything."

"No, I didn't. Didn't see what good it would do Sam or Jack to talk about it, since a relationship between them was against regulations. When Jack flew to Washington two weeks ago for a meeting with the President, he also came by to see me while he was there to give me his resignation. He gave me the excuse that it was just time for him to retire, that he had never liked running the SGC anyway. I knew that was part of it but not all of the reason, so I confronted him and he didn't deny it. He loves Sam very much but he isn't going to try to change the situation if Pete is really the man she wants to marry. Jacob and I were so hoping those two would somehow make it work."

Daniel grinned. "You and Jacob discussed Jack and Sam?"

"Yes, we did. Jacob thinks Jack is good for her and so do I. Jack has never been one to show his feelings and he's more upset about Sam's wedding than he will ever admit."

"You were trying to tell Sam that she needs to get to Jack's house if she wants to try to stop him from leaving."

"Yes, I was."

Daniel leaned back in his chair. "I know Sam didn't expect this any more than Teal'c or I did. Maybe this will push her into action. I don't think she's really happy with her choice for a husband."

Sam hurried to the locker room and sat down on a bench, her hands trembling as she opened the letter and began to read.

Dear Sam,

I know my resignation comes as a surprise. I just couldn't tell you in person how much working with you, Teal'c and Daniel for the last eight years has meant to me.

Somewhere along the way, you three became my family and I will miss all of you.

Since the day you and I met, you have held a special place in my heart. I came to admire your intelligence, your dedication, your loyalty, your wit and your kindness. On those rare occasions, I even got to see your goofy side.

You have deserved every promotion you've been given, earning my respect over and over again, and I am so proud of you.

You are beautiful inside and out and as much as I had hoped, I guess it was just never in the cards for us. You have Pete now and I hope he realizes how lucky he is and how very special you really are.

Be happy, Sam.

Jack

Sam choked back tears as she folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, knowing what she had to do. Jumping up from the bench, she quickly changed clothes, put on her leather jacket, stuck the letter in her purse, grabbed her helmet and ran out the door.

And now, as she rode along the busy streets, her thoughts went back twenty-four hours ago. She sat on a bench with Pete in front of the house that he had bought for them, breaking not only their engagement but also his heart. She would never forget how hurt he had looked when she had told him there would be no wedding. She had not wanted to hurt Pete, but knew that she could not marry him, knowing that she was in love with Jack.

After ending her relationship with Pete, she knew she could no longer keep these feelings to herself. She needed to work up the courage to tell Jack how she felt about him, even if it meant that he didn't feel the same way about her any more. She had made up her mind that when the team returned to Earth today after the treaty was signed, she would speak with Jack in private.

Between breaking her engagement yesterday and coming home from the planet to find out that Jack was gone, there had not been a chance to tell the most important person in her life that she was not getting married.

Coming down the street and turning into Jack's driveway, she breathed a sigh of relief to see that he had not left yet.

Pulling up in his yard and coming to a stop, she turned off the motorcycle, got off and removed her helmet. She noticed the bed of his truck was half filled with boxes.

Just as she was about to go up the steps to his house, the door opened and there stood Jack holding a suitcase.

"Carter, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk with you."

Jack hesitated for a moment, walked to the truck, put the suitcase inside and turned to face her.

"General Hammond gave me your letter."

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. "I was hoping to be gone by the time you read it."

"I'm glad you haven't left because I have something to tell you."

Jack raised his head and looked into her eyes.

"I broke my engagement to Pete yesterday."

Sam could see the look of surprise on his face and she could feel her heart beating faster as he stared at her.

"Say something."

Jack turned and went into his house and Sam followed. Closing the door, she came down the steps behind him into the living room.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I called off the wedding?"

Jack walked over to the window and looked outside. "Does it matter?"

Sam frowned. "Yes, it matters. I broke my engagement because of my feelings for you."

"Which feelings, Sam?"

"What do you mean which feelings?"

Jack turned to face her. "The feelings that you didn't want to talk about but wanted to lock away? The feelings that we left in the room years ago?"

"I made a big mistake, Jack. I know we should have talked about it when it happened but the regulations were keeping us apart. What was I supposed to do? You weren't about to retire again so soon and we were both needed on SG-1."

"I would have waited, Sam, until the time was right but you got engaged to Pete!"

"But I broke my engagement to Pete! I realized I don't love him enough to be his wife, to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't care about him the way I care about you!"

"It's too late! You should have just married him!"

"So you won't forgive me, even though I finally faced the truth that I don't love Pete?"

"It has gotten to be too much! I've watched you for the last few months being happy and I wasn't the man making you happy!"

Sam took a step toward him. "But you can be that man now!"

Jack shook his head. "No, I can't."

He knew he should be ecstatic to hear that Sam wasn't marrying Pete but he couldn't help but remember those times he had seen them together and how hurt and jealous he had been. Since the zatarc test, he had felt that they would wait until the circumstances were right and they could be together, but she had chosen not to wait. He felt as though Sam had abandoned him. He knew a lot of what he was feeling was stubborn pride but he just couldn't give her what she wanted.

Sam stared at Jack. "Did I really hurt you that badly? I honestly didn't mean to. After the zatarc test, I thought we would wait until the time was right to be together, but years passed and nothing changed. Since we never discussed it, I didn't know if you even felt anything for me any more. I wanted someone to share my life with and Pete offered me that. He treated me well, he brought me flowers, he took me dancing, he made me feel like a woman. It had been a long time since I'd felt special to any man. I know I shouldn't have gotten engaged to him but I realized I was making a mistake and that's why I broke it off with him. Don't you see?"

"I think you should go now, Carter, and I need to get on the road to Minnesota."

Sam couldn't believe Jack was behaving this way as tears filled her eyes. "So that's it? All these years of waiting and wanting to be together and now that we finally have this opportunity, you think it's too late? You won't even give us a chance?"

Jack stared at her but didn't say anything.

"So this is goodbye, Jack?"

Sam knew how stubborn Jack could be and realized he wasn't going to budge on this. She headed to the door as Jack picked up a box and followed her outside.

Sam didn't look at Jack as she quickly fastened her helmet, started the motorcycle and sped down the driveway.

Jack stared at her with his heart breaking, suddenly wishing he could take back what he had said and give them a chance. Setting the box in the truck, he heard the sound of a horn and the screech of tires. Turning quickly, he watched as a pick-up truck slammed into Sam's motorcycle, spinning it around and throwing her off. The motorcycle slid into a ditch on the other side of the road as Sam rolled over and over on the pavement, leaving her sprawled on the highway in the damp and chilly air.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I filled out my profile if you care to read it.

Chapter 2

"Nooooooo!" Jack yelled as he started running.

The driver of the truck jumped out, ran around the front and stared at Sam as Jack fell to his knees beside her.

"I couldn't stop! I couldn't stop in time!" the man yelled. "She didn't even look to see if anything was coming, she just pulled right out in front of me!"

'No! No!' Jack was screaming inside his head. He gently touched Sam's wrist with a trembling hand and felt for a pulse. He could feel it beating but it was very faint. She lay on her back with her eyes closed, her pants torn, her left leg bent behind her and bleeding and the bone was sticking out of her left ankle. Her jacket was torn, both arms and hands were scraped and bleeding but the helmet had protected her face. He knew not to move Sam because doing so would cause further injury.

The man knelt down beside Jack. "Is she alive?"

"Barely" Jack answered as he tried not to cry. He fumbled in his pocket for his phone but remembered he had left it in the house.

"You have a cell phone?"

The man pulled one from his jacket pocket and handed it to him.

With shaking hands, Jack punched in the number for the base, identified himself and asked to speak immediately with General Hammond. Jack tried to stay calm as he told him that Sam had been in an accident on the street in front of his house and needed a helicopter to take her to the base. General Hammond assured him that one would be sent immediately and he would also notify the police.

Jack ended the call and gave the phone back to the man.

"Why was she driving so fast?" the man asked as he pulled his jacket tighter around him.

Jack tried to stay calm. "We had an argument. She was upset."

As they waited, several cars stopped and people quickly exited their vehicles, asking if there was anything they could do to help.

A woman came running from her car with a blanket. "I'm a nurse. We need to try to keep her warm until help arrives."

Jack watched as the woman covered Sam with the blanket and several minutes later they heard sirens coming closer as two police cars arrived.

Two officers, a man and a woman, got out of their cars and hurried over.

The driver of the truck stood up and explained to the male officer what had happened as Jack sat still, staring at Sam.

The female officer knelt down beside Jack.

"Sir, we were told that a helicopter is being sent to pick her up."

"Yes, I ordered it."

"What's your name, sir?"

"Jack O'Neill."

"And the woman's name, sir?"

"Samantha Carter."

Jack tried to be patient as the officer asked him several more questions and wrote down the answers on an accident report.

Jack noticed someone had walked up beside him and looked up to see Pete staring at Sam.

"What are you doing here?"

Pete glanced at Jack. "I heard there was an accident on the police radio and since I was close by, I thought I'd see if there is anything I could do."

Pete knelt down beside Sam. "Oh, Sam, no" he whispered as he stared at her.

In the distance, they could hear a helicopter approaching.

Jack suddenly stood up, waving his arms and yelling "move out of the way so the chopper can land!"

Pete and the two officers quickly started telling everyone to move their vehicles as the helicopter hovered overhead.

There was soon enough space for the helicopter to sit down on the highway and as soon as it touched the ground, the side door opened and Dr. Brightman jumped out, carrying a large medical bag. She was followed by Daniel and Teal'c and two orderlies hurried over with a stretcher.

As Jack sat down again beside Sam, Dr. Brightman quickly assessed the situation.

Daniel knelt beside Jack, put his arm around his shoulder and could feel Jack shaking.

"How did this happen?"

Jack glanced at Daniel. "We had a fight. This is all my fault."

Daniel looked up to see Pete with an angry expression on his face.

Pete took a step toward Jack. "I should have known that you'd be involved in this somehow, O'Neill. What were you fighting about?"

Daniel stood up quickly and put his hands on Pete's shoulders. "This isn't the time or the place to be arguing! We have to take care of Sam!"

Pete nodded his head. "You're right. I'm sorry."

After Dr. Brightman checked Sam's legs and arms, she moved to her head. "We need to get her head stabilized."

"I'm a nurse" the woman said who had placed the blanket over Sam.

Dr. Brightman glanced up at her. "I need your help please."

Everyone watched as the nurse helped Dr. Brightman remove Sam's helmet and put a cervical collar around Sam's neck.

After that was done, the orderlies carefully rolled Sam onto her side and a spine board was placed under her. Gently easing Sam on her back once again, they secured the straps to hold her in place.

Dr. Brightman, the nurse and Jack stood up as the orderlies carried Sam to the helicopter.

Jack glanced at Dr. Brightman. "I'm coming with you."

Pete stepped up beside Jack. "I'm coming too."

Jack reached out and pushed Pete away. "No you're not! Get away from her!"

Pete raised his fist to strike Jack but Teal'c quickly stepped between them and grabbed Pete's wrist. "Your presence is not required here! You must go!"

Jack glared at Pete, wishing he could punch him. "You're out of her life, Shanahan! Leave! Now!"

Pete stared at Jack with rage in his eyes before turning around and going to his car.

The nurse handed the blanket to Jack. "Take this. I hope she'll be okay."

Jack nodded his head. "Thanks for your help."

Daniel put his hand on Jack's arm. "Jack, there won't be room enough for all of us on the helicopter, so Teal'c and I will bring your truck. Is the key in it?"

Jack had to think for a moment. "Uh . . . yes."

"Okay, we'll meet you at the base."

Daniel and Teal'c hurried down Jack's driveway as Jack boarded the helicopter. As the orderlies secured the stretcher, Jack sat down beside Sam and carefully covered her with the blanket. Dr. Brightman sat on the other side of Sam and wrapped her fingers around her wrist to monitor her heart rate.

"Will she be okay?"

The Doctor turned her attention to Jack and could see how scared he was. "I don't know, sir. We'll find out how badly she's injured and I'll let you know something as soon as I can."

Dr. Brightman watched as Jack slowly eased Sam's hand between both of his, holding it gently.

Back at the house, Teal'c and Daniel got into Jack's truck and came down the driveway. Just as they got to the road, the female police officer waved at Daniel so he stopped and put down the window.

"Sir, you're a friend of the injured lady, is that correct?"

"Yes. Why?"

"What do you want to do with her motorcycle?"

"Uh . . . we'll take it with us. Teal'c, can you help?"

"I will" he answered as he quickly got out of the truck, ran over to the side of the road and he and the officer picked up the mangled motorcycle. Teal'c moved the boxes around in the back of the truck to make room and the two men lifted the motorcycle and laid it down.

Teal'c got back inside and Daniel headed to the Mountain.

It only took a few minutes for the helicopter to arrive at the base and as soon as the helicopter touched down, the orderlies lifted Sam out, placed her on a gurney and rushed her inside.

General Hammond stepped off the elevator just in time to see the group rushing down the corridor to the infirmary and he got a glimpse of Sam as the orderlies pushed her past him. Turning to Jack, he could see that he was trying to hold himself together.

Clasping Jack's arm, General Hammond led him to a chair.

"Sit down."

Jack took a seat and General Hammond sat down beside him. "What happened?"

Jack stared straight ahead as he took a deep breath. "We had an argument."

"About what?"

"Sam came to tell me she broke her engagement to Pete yesterday because of her feelings for me, but my stubborn pride took over and I told Sam it was too late for us. She was upset when she left and drove out onto the road without checking to see if anything was coming and she got hit by a truck."

General Hammond frowned. "Jack, you love Sam. Why would you tell her it's too late?"

"Because I'm a stupid idiot."

Jack paused for a moment, feeling as though he was about to be sick. "I need some air."

He suddenly stood and ran out of the infirmary. General Hammond sat back in his chair, took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead.

Several minutes later, Teal'c and Daniel came running down the corridor as Sergeant Siler came around the corner.

"Dr. Jackson, I heard Colonel Carter is injured."

"Yes, she is. Could you do something for me?"

"Sure."

"Sam's motorcycle is in the back of Jack's truck. Could you go get it and put it somewhere?"

"Sure, I'll be glad to."

"Thanks."

Daniel and Teal'c hurried to the infirmary and when they arrived, Daniel looked around. "Where's Jack?"

"He was upset" General Hammond answered. "I guess he went top side. You might want to go check on him."

Teal'c sat down beside General Hammond as Daniel hurried to the elevator.

"How bad is she?" General Hammond asked.

Teal'c clasped his hands together. "Her injuries are extensive."

General Hammond stood up. "I need to get in touch with Jacob. Let me know if you hear anything from Dr. Brightman."

"I will, General Hammond."

Daniel hurried outside, looked around and saw Jack sitting on the ground at the edge of the trees with his knees bent, elbows resting on his knees and fingers locked behind his head.

Walking over to him, he stared at Jack for a few moments.

"You need to come back inside so we'll be there when Dr. Brightman tells us Sam's condition."

Jack shook his head. "I can't go back in there right now."

Daniel sat down beside his friend. "Okay. Tell me how this happened."

"Sam broke her engagement."

Daniel's eyes grew wide. "When?"

"Yesterday. She hadn't told you and Teal'c?"

"No. I guess she wanted to tell you first."

"Sam and I argued when she came to my house. She said she had broken the engagement because of her feelings for me but I told her it was too late for us. I blamed her for not wanting to discuss what the zatarc test had revealed about our feelings for each other. I accused her of not wanting to wait until we could be together, then she got engaged to Shanahan. I guess I wanted her to feel the pain I've been feeling for the past few months. I was jealous and hurt and so stupid, Daniel. Prideful and stupid."

Jack paused for a moment. "I've wanted to be with Sam for years and when we finally have our chance, I pushed her away. I guess I've always felt unworthy of her."

Daniel frowned. "Why would you say that, Jack?"

"I have a lot of baggage, Daniel. With everything I've done in my life, I guess I just thought I was never good enough for Sam. She's the smartest woman I know and I never felt I could measure up. I'm older than her and she's young and beautiful and I always thought she'd find someone closer to her own age. I've seen how men look at her and I just thought she'd never see me quite the way I see her. I know she used to care about me but I thought that had changed when she got involved with Pete and it hurt to know she didn't care about me anymore and it hurt to see them together."

"Jack, you are not unworthy of Sam. You are very smart, smarter than you give yourself credit for. Do you think the U.S. military would have promoted you to be in charge of the entire base if they thought you were not intelligent enough to do the job? No, they wouldn't. You're also people smart. You read people better than anyone I've ever met. You're funny and kind and you have a huge heart and I've seen the way Sam looks at you and I know how much she admires and respects you. Sam is not naïve. She knows there are things you've done for your country that you can't tell her about. She knows a lot about the U.S. government and covert operations and that you were involved in a lot of that, but that doesn't make her think less of you. Sam knows you really well. She loves you the way you are so don't sell yourself short."

Jack picked up a twig and turned it over and over in his hands.

"How did the accident happen?"

Jack took a deep breath before speaking. "Sam was upset when she left my house and I followed her outside. She got on her Indian and took off really fast down the driveway. She apparently didn't look to see if any cars were coming and pulled out onto the road just as I put the box I was carrying in the bed of my truck. I heard a horn blowing and tires screeching and I turned around just as the truck hit Sam. The motorcycle went into the ditch and Sam rolled over several times on the pavement. I don't know how she survived."

Jack suddenly burst into tears so Daniel put his arm around Jack's shoulder as he tried not to cry himself.

"Oh God, Daniel, what have I done? What if she dies? I'll never forgive myself if she dies."

Daniel kept his arm around Jack's shoulder, trying to think of the right words to say.

"Jack, we have to be hopeful that Sam does survive. She's in good hands. Dr. Brightman and her staff will do everything they can for her."

"If she lives, she'll never forgive me and I don't deserve her forgiveness after what I said to her."

"We can't dwell on that right now, Jack. We have to think positive that Sam will be okay. She's a tough woman so we have to believe that she'll get through this."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Daniel let Jack get himself under control.

Daniel pushed himself off the ground and held out his hand to Jack.

"We need to go back inside."

Jack quickly wiped his face, clasped Daniel's hand and stood up.

Daniel followed Jack to the elevator and as they rode in silence, Daniel watched Jack as he stood with his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. He remembered the dark place that Jack had been in when they had met for the first time, just after Charlie had died. Jack had felt so guilty for leaving his gun in the house and Sara had blamed him for Charlie's death. Even though Jack had wanted to end his life on that first trip through the stargate, he had pulled himself together and realized that his life could go on. But now with the woman that Jack loved deeply, probably even more than he had loved Sara, lying severely injured in the infirmary, he knew that if Sam should die, Jack's feelings of guilt might finally be the one thing to push him over the edge.

**~oOo~**

Jack, Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond sat outside the infirmary, waiting to hear from Dr. Brightman.

General Hammond remembered back to the time when Sam was born. His good friend, Captain Jacob Carter, and his wife, had been so excited to have a new daughter, just three years after having their son. He remembered visiting Jacob's home and holding this baby girl with just a touch of blonde hair on her tiny head and deep blue eyes. He smiled to himself as he remembered Samantha getting into everything as a spirited five year old. He had watched Samantha grow into a pretty, kind and intelligent teenager, making her parents proud with all her academic achievements. He could still remember Sam's devastation when her mother had been killed and how Jacob, Mark and Sam had splintered off in different directions instead of coming together to support each other and deal with their grief.

General Hammond was brought out of his memories as the door of the infirmary opened and Dr. Brightman walked out.

The men stood and they could see how worried she looked.

"Colonel Carter has a collapsed lung so we inserted a needle into the chest cavity which allows it to expand to relieve the pressure. Her left hip is shattered and her left ankle is broken. She has two broken ribs on her right side. Her right leg has scrapes and bruises but no broken bones. I called Dr. Grant Thornton, an orthopedic surgeon, who works at the Academy Hospital. He has been here before so he has clearance. He is on his way here to do what needs to be done. The good news is she doesn't have any head injuries since she was wearing her helmet."

The Doctor paused for a moment.

"Colonel Carter does, however, have severe swelling in the spinal canal which presses on the spinal cord . . ."

The Doctor suddenly stopped and stared at the floor.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" General Hammond asked.

She paused for a moment. "I need to wait and see what Dr. Thornton thinks about this but . . . I want all of you to be aware that there is the possibility she may be paralyzed from the waist down."

The men didn't move as they stared at the Doctor for several moments. Daniel slowly turned his head to see the color drain from Jack's face.

Dr. Brightman continued. "Since Colonel Carter is unconscious, we will not know how extensive the spinal damage may be until she wakes up after surgery and we find out if she can move on her own. If the spinal cord swelling goes down, then being paralyzed should not be an issue. I need to get back inside but I'll send out one of the nurses occasionally to keep you informed."

Just as Dr. Brightman returned to the infirmary, the men heard Walter announce "off-world activation. Off-world activation."

General Hammond started toward the gate room as Daniel looked at Jack.

"Don't you want to go see who that is?"

"It isn't my responsibility any more, remember?"

"I just thought you might be curious."

Jack sat back down. "I need to stay here."

Daniel and Teal'c returned to their seats as Jack leaned over, put his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. The memory of Sam lying injured and bleeding on the highway replayed again and again in his mind. He realized that this was one of the worst days of his life and he knew he would never forgive himself for the way he had treated Sam. She had not deserved his anger, his jealousy or his stubborn pride. He knew he should have welcomed the news she had given him, that she had ended her relationship with Pete because of him. It should have made him happy but instead his pride had taken over and he lashed out at her when he should have taken her in his arms and kissed her, the way he had always wanted to. He stared at the infirmary doors, knowing that behind there lay the woman he had loved for years but because of his actions, she might not survive.

Fifteen minutes later, Jacob came in with General Hammond.

Without acknowledging Daniel or Teal'c, Jacob walked to where Jack sat and stared down at him.

Jack looked up to see the anger on his face.

Jacob spoke calmly. "I need to have a word with you."

"I just bet you do" Jack muttered to himself as he stood up.

"Is there some place we can talk in private?"

"Follow me."

Daniel and General Hammond watched Jacob follow Jack out of the room.

"Jacob is upset with Jack, isn't he?"

General Hammond looked at Daniel. "He certainly is."

Jack led Jacob to a vacant VIP room at the end of the corridor where he knew there would be little traffic and away from prying ears.

They walked inside and Jacob closed the door.

"Sit down."

Jack took a seat at a small table and tried to brace himself, knowing he was about to face the wrath of Jacob Carter.

"Look, Jake, I know you're upset . . ."

Jacob held up his hand. "Don't . . . just don't."

Jack stared at the table as Jacob put his hand to the back of his neck and walked around in circles a few times before speaking.

Jacob stopped and stared at Jack. "According to George, Sam broke her engagement because of you but you told Sam it was too late for you to be together so you argued, she got upset and ended up critically injured. Is that correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"This is all your fault, Jack! Thanks to you, my daughter is fighting for her life!"

"Jake, I know . . ."

"Shut up! I'm not finished!"

Jacob clinched his fists. "It's very hard for me not to pummel you right now! It just baffles me how you could tell Sam something like that! Until this happened, you were the one man I would have trusted to treat my daughter with respect because I thought you would never hurt her."

Jacob stopped for a moment and Jack knew not to interrupt him.

"Do you not know that she has been in love with you for years, Jack? Do you not know how much she admires and respects you? You don't know how many times I've watched Sam look at you with such love in her eyes that it was painful for me to see, knowing that because of the regulations, you couldn't be together. I knew it would never work with Pete and Sam finally came to her senses and realized it too. She has never loved any man the way she loves you. Don't tell me you don't love her because I know you do, I've watched you love her for years. I've seen the way you look at her and the way you like to tease her. I've seen the way you protect and defend her. I thought you were good for Sam, the way you treated her, the way you respected her as a woman, the way you respected her career. I didn't need the zatarc machine to spell it out for me. I always liked you and I had high hopes that you and Sam would marry someday and when you did, I knew you'd be great together."

Jacob stopped to take a breath. "I thought you loved her until this happened but right this very second, I'm beginning to think I was wrong."

Tears came to Jack's eyes. "I do love her, Jacob. I . . ."

Jacob took a step toward Jack and clinched his fists. "You have a strange way of showing you love her. Did you get some kind of sick pleasure from hearing my daughter pour out her heart to you and then you rejected her? Did you get some kind of weird satisfaction from breaking her heart?"

Jack stood up. "Jacob, I know you hate me right now but no more than I hate myself!"

Tears filled Jacob's eyes. "Good, Jack, you should feel that way. If my baby dies, I will never forgive you. I'm glad you and Sam didn't get together. You don't deserve her and I think she's much better off without you."

Jacob turned around, jerked open the door, stepped into the corridor and slammed the door behind him as Jack sat back down on the chair and covered his face with his hands.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jack walked into the waiting area outside the infirmary to see Jacob, Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond as they waited for an update from Dr. Brightman of Sam's condition.

Jack took a seat and noticed Jacob watching him. They stared at each other for several moments until Jacob looked away.

Daniel noticed the exchange between the two men and wondered what had been said between them. Apparently, it had not been a pleasant conversation when Jacob had returned to the infirmary and he could see the fury on Jacob's face. He knew that, over the years, Jacob and Jack had grown to like and admire each other and they had become friends, but with Sam in critical condition, the relationship between them was now severely strained.

Walter came through the door carrying four cups of coffee and a container of orange juice on a tray. "I thought you might like something to drink while you wait."

General Hammond smiled. "Thank you, Sergeant."

After giving the orange juice to Teal'c and passing out coffee to the others, Walter turned to General Hammond. "Is there any word on Colonel Carter, sir? Everyone is concerned about her."

General Hammond started to answer when one of the nurses came out of the infirmary.

"Dr. Brightman wanted me to let all of you know how she and Dr. Thornton are progressing. They had to replace Colonel Carter's hip joint. It was broken in two places."

Jack watched as Jacob put his hand to his mouth and stared at the floor as the nurse continued.

"They just started working on her ankle. To make the ankle stable, Dr. Thornton is inserting a plate and screws to re-align the bones and keep them together as they heal. Surgery will be at least another hour, maybe longer, and Dr. Brightman will come speak with you when she and Dr. Thornton have finished."

The nurse turned around and went back inside.

General Hammond stood up and glanced at the men. "Now would be a good time to take a break. Jake, when was the last time you ate?"

Jacob stood up slowly. "I really can't remember, George."

"Come join me in the commissary. We'll grab something to eat."

General Hammond and Jacob walked out as Walter followed.

Daniel crossed his arms and looked at Jack. "So, do I dare ask what you and Jacob talked about? I mean, I know you talked about Sam but apparently it didn't go well from the look on Jacob's face."

"He blames me for what happened to Sam . . . and I blame myself."

"It wasn't all your fault, Jack."

Jack shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. Let's go eat and we'll come back."

**~oOo~**

General Hammond watched Jacob as he pushed his food around on the plate.

"Jake, I know you're upset but try not to be so mad at Jack. He regrets what he said to Sam."

Jacob laid down his fork. "I don't understand why he said it in the first place, George. I just don't understand what came over him that he would say something like that and hurt Sam the way he did. I thought he loved her but his actions have proven me wrong."

"I know Jack comes across as this tough guy, Jake, but underneath that tough exterior is a man who feels things deeply. Over the past few months, Jack has had to watch Sam being happy with another man and it was breaking his heart. Sam is the biggest reason he wanted to retire. When Jack gave me his resignation, he told me he couldn't stay here any longer, watching Sam be married to Pete and having to work with her every day. Since the zatarc test, Jack had held out hope that eventually he and Sam could be together. When Sam got engaged, I could tell that Jack was hurting, even though he tried not to show it. I think when he and Sam talked, and even though she had broken her engagement, he was feeling hurt and let down that Sam didn't wait for him and chose Pete over him and when Sam went to talk to him, all that hurt that he has been holding inside for so long just came out. Look, I'm not making excuses for him because he should not have said what he did to Sam, but staying upset with him is not helping either of you and nobody can change what has happened."

Jacob stared into the General's eyes. "All I can think about is Sam lying in a hospital bed, close to death, and who is responsible for it. She wouldn't have been driving so fast if Jack had not said those things to her and hurt her. Forgiving Jack is the last thing I want to do right now, George. Maybe I'll forgive him when I know for sure that my daughter will be back to the way she was before all this happened."

**~oOo~**

Dr. Brightman and Dr. Thornton came out the doors of the infirmary as the men stood up.

Dr. Brightman looked at Jacob. "I'll let Dr. Thornton explain what we did."

Doctor Thornton glanced at everyone. "We had to replace Colonel Carter's hip joint and her ankle has been repaired. With time and rest, the collapsed lung and broken ribs will heal. Since she was wearing her helmet when the accident happened, she has no brain injuries. The one thing we are concerned about is the swelling in her spine and I believe Dr. Brightman already explained that we will have to wait and see if the swelling goes down and wait until she wakes up to find out if she can move on her own. If she can, she will need time to heal before physical therapy can begin. If she cannot, there is an excellent hospital in Denver that has had great success for people with spinal injuries, but let's try to be optimistic that she will be okay. She will sleep for several hours. We've put her in a private room of the infirmary where Dr. Brightman and her staff can watch her throughout the night."

"When can I see her?" Jacob asked.

"I'll allow you to see her, sir, but the rest of you must wait until tomorrow" Dr. Brightman answered.

The Doctors went back inside the infirmary as Jacob followed.

Jacob stood beside Sam and glanced at all the tubes, wires and monitors that were helping to keep her alive. He ran his finger across her cheek as tears filled his eyes. Sliding his hand under Sam's, he held it gently as he looked at her face and began to cry. Pulling up a chair, he sat down beside her and as he wiped away the tears, he thought back to the day Sam was born. Holding her securely in his arms, he counted tiny fingers and toes and watched closely as she opened her eyes for the first time and he could see how blue they were. He would never forget the first time she had called him "Daddy" and Sam holding tightly to his fingers as she had taken her first steps. His thoughts turned to when his wife had died and how devastated Sam had been at losing her best friend. His relationship with Sam and Mark had fractured that day, but he and Sam had found their way back together and they were closer now than they had ever been.

He stared at his daughter as he grasped her hand and brushed tears from his eyes.

**~oOo~**

Jack spent the night at the base but hadn't bothered to get undressed for bed. He lay on top of the blanket, staring into the darkness. Every time he would close his eyes, he could still see Sam lying on the road, unconscious and bleeding. He went over and over the conversation he had with Sam at his house, wishing he could take back what he had said.

He turned over on his side and faced the wall as tears ran from his eyes. He knew he loved Sam with every fiber of his being and there was no excuse for the way he had treated her. Sam had not deserved his jealousy and hateful words. She had opened up after all these years and finally told him how she felt about him. And what had he done? He had raised his voice in anger and pride and he would never forget the hurt he had seen in her eyes.

He had wished a thousand times since the accident that he could take back what had happened but he couldn't do anything to change it. He couldn't blame Jacob for being so upset with him. If he were in his shoes he would feel the same way.

Hearing a knock on the door, he quickly wiped his eyes and turned over on his back as the light came on and Teal'c entered the room.

"O'Neill, would you care to join me in the commissary for breakfast?"

"Just give me a few minutes. I'll meet you there."

"As you wish."

Teal'c closed the door as Jack stood up and went into the bathroom. Turning on the light, he looked in the mirror and was surprised to see how pale he was. After taking a shower and shaving, he headed to the infirmary and met Dr. Brightman in the corridor.

"Good morning, sir."

"How is she?"

"About the same. Her Dad was just here to check on her."

Dr. Brightman looked closely at Jack. "Did you get any sleep, sir?"

Jack shook his head. "Not much."

"If you need something to help you rest, just let me know."

"Thanks but I'm okay. May I see her?"

"The nurses are changing the bandages and checking her vitals at the moment. Why don't you go eat first and come back?"

"Okay."

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets, wandered slowly to the commissary and stood in line.

"Sir?" Jack heard someone say and turned around to see Major Kristine Huffman. She and Sam had become friends over the last few years and he had seen them in the gym last week, talking and laughing as they worked out together.

"I was wondering, sir, if there is any word on Colonel Carter's condition."

"I just spoke with Dr. Brightman. No change, Major."

Jack watched as she glanced at the floor and when she looked back up at him, there were tears in her eyes. "Colonel Carter is my friend. She's such a sweet person. I hope she'll be okay, sir."

"I do too, Major."

Jack got his food and as he started to sit down with Daniel and Teal'c, he noticed General Landry sitting with Jacob and General Hammond.

Jack set down his tray and went to speak with his friend.

As Jack walked up to the table, Hank smiled and they shook hands.

"Jack, good to see you."

"You too, Hank. When did you arrive?"

"Just as General Hammond and General Carter were headed to breakfast so they asked me to come along."

Jacob stood up and glanced at George and Hank. "I'm going to go sit with Sam."

Jacob stared at Jack for a few moments and walked past him.

"So, Hank, ready to take on this job?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. I've been reading up on what goes on around here so I'm sure it'll be the most interesting assignment of my career."

"We'll talk later."

"Okay."

As Jack walked away, Hank turned to General Hammond. "I noticed the icy stare that General Carter gave Jack. What's going on?"

General Hammond pushed back his chair to stand up. "Let's go to your new office and I'll explain what has happened."

After Jack, Daniel and Teal'c had eaten, they headed to the infirmary and Dr. Brightman led them to Sam's room.

Jacob was sitting beside Sam, holding her hand.

"Her breathing has improved a little" Dr. Brightman explained "and her vital signs are better."

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. "Does that mean she'll be okay?"

"It's a good sign."

"When should she awaken?" Teal'c asked.

"Sometime today."

Jack stared at Sam. "How about the swelling in her spine?"

"There is a little bit of improvement but we'll just have to give her more time."

**~oOo~**

Jack didn't know what to do with himself. Hank had taken over his old office and he didn't want to sit around brooding in one of the VIP rooms all day. He didn't want to go home, but wanted to be close by when Sam awakened to find out if she could move on her own. When he found out if Sam would eventually be okay, he planned to leave and head to Minnesota, knowing that Sam would never want to see him again. He tried not to think about how different and empty his life would be without her.

Needing to work off some stress in the meantime, he headed to Teal'c's room to borrow some gym clothes since he had already taken his home. Having little to do also, Teal'c decided to join Jack in the gym.

As they stepped into the men's locker room, they overheard two men talking at the lockers on the other side.

"I heard she and O'Neill had a fight about something, left his house in a hurry and got hit by a truck."

"There's a rumor going around that she broke her engagement."

Jack and Teal'c looked at each other as they recognized the voices of Captain Connors and Captain Lockett.

Connors chuckled. "I've always wondered if she and O'Neill have a thing for each other."

"Yeah, me too. Makes you wonder if they were sleeping together all those times they were off-world."

"I've wondered that myself. Carter is a beautiful woman. I'd certainly like to crawl into a sleeping bag with her on some deserted planet."

Jack had heard enough and came around the corner with Teal'c right behind him.

Jack hit his fist against the locker and when the two men turned around and saw who it was, they immediately stood at attention.

"Sir!"

Jack grabbed Captain Connors by his shirt collar, bunched it in his fists and slammed him back against the wall.

Captain Lockett backed up as far as he could as Teal'c came closer and stared into his eyes.

Jack glared at Connors about an inch from his face. "So you and Lockett think you know what went on with me and Colonel Carter, do you, Connors?"

"No, sir!"

"No, you don't! You have no clue! Not once have we ever behaved inappropriately on Earth or any other planet! We have too much respect for each other and as Air Force officers to sleep together! People like you make me sick! Always listening to gossip, always spreading rumors, always assuming you know what goes on when you know absolutely nothing!"

Connors blinked his eyes several times. "I'm sorry, sir."

Lockett's eyes grew even wider as Teal'c moved closer to him and glared at him. Teal'c knew he was intimidating the man and that's exactly what he wanted to do.

Jack shoved Connors away and Teal'c stepped back.

Jack started to walk away but suddenly turned around and put his hands on his hips. "If I ever hear you two or anyone else say anything like that again about me or Colonel Carter, so help me God you'll regret the day you were born and I'll make sure you're both demoted to Airmen and you'll spend a year cleaning toilets in Antarctica! You got that?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Get out of here!"

The men quickly picked up their bags and scurried out the door.

Teal'c could see Jack shaking with rage.

"Their behavior was totally uncalled for."

Jack sat down on a bench. "I know, Teal'c. It was all I could do not to beat the crap out of the guy."

After Teal'c and Jack had finished their workout, they showered and changed clothes. As they came out the door, Daniel came around the corner.

"I was just coming to get you. Sam's awake."

The men hurried to the infirmary but Jack stopped just inside the door. He didn't know how Sam would react if she saw him and he didn't want to upset her even more than he already had.

Jacob stood on one side of Sam's bed and Dr. Brightman on the other.

Jack could see that Sam's eyes were open but since she was on so much medication, she looked very sleepy as she tried to focus.

Dr. Brightman moved to the foot of the bed and uncovered Sam's feet.

"Could you move your toes for me please, Colonel?"

Sam slowly wiggled her toes back and forth on her right foot.

Dr. Brightman grasped Sam's toes on her left foot and gently squeezed.

"Where am I touching you, Colonel?"

"Left foot" Sam whispered as she closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Dr. Brightman tucked the blanket back over Sam's feet, moved back around to the side of the bed and looked at the men. "The swelling in her spine has decreased and since she could feel me squeeze her foot, we now know that she isn't paralyzed."

Jacob sighed. "Thank God."

Daniel turned around and gave Jack a smile, knowing he would be relieved.

As Jack started to walk out of the infirmary, General Hammond told him to wait.

"What for?"

"Jacob wants to talk to us. Let's all go to the briefing room."

Daniel and Jack looked at each other, wondering what was going on.

General Hammond sat down at the head of the table. Jacob and Teal'c sat down beside each other on one side of the table and Daniel and Jack took seats on the other side.

Jacob glanced around at the men. "Have you wondered why I haven't offered to use the healing device on Sam?"

"It has crossed my mind" Daniel answered.

"I haven't because I don't have my symbiote any more."

General Hammond's eyes grew wide. "What?"

Jacob took a deep breath. "A few months ago, I wasn't feeling well and Selmak let me know that it was his fault. As you know, when Selmak and I were blended, he was already very old and there does come a time when a symbiote will die from old age. Isn't that right, Teal'c?"

"Yes. That is correct."

"Selmak kept getting weaker and since he was affecting my health, he urged me to have him removed so I would not die with him. Selmak and I said goodbye to each other and the Tok'ra removed him."

General Hammond sat back in his chair. "I'm sorry to hear this, Jacob."

The men sat in silence for a few moments until Jack spoke. "Does this mean you will age like the rest of us?"

"Yes."

Daniel clasped his hands together on top of the table. "Do you miss him?"

Jacob nodded his head. "Yes, I do. I had gotten so used to having him with me that it now seems odd to be without him. I just wish I still had Selmak so I could help Sam get well."

General Hammond looked at his watch and stood up. "It's almost time for Hank's ceremony. I need to go downstairs."

Teal'c and Daniel stayed seated to talk further with Jacob about Selmak.

Jack left the room and headed back to the infirmary. Walking inside, he could see that Sam was asleep. Dr. Brightman stood beside the bed, checking Sam's pulse, when she looked up and noticed Jack.

"She okay?"

"Yes, sir. Sleep is the best thing for her right now."

"Do you think she'll eventually be okay?"

"Yes, sir, but she has a long road ahead of her. With all her injuries, she isn't going to recover quickly."

Dr. Brightman wandered off as Jack put his hand on top of Sam's. Tears came to his eyes as he stared at her. Quickly glancing around to see if anyone was watching, he leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, Sam. I'm truly sorry . . . and I do love you" he whispered.

He let go of her hand and quickly wiped his eyes.

Jack got on the elevator and headed to the control room. He could see that the gate room was filled with people as everyone stood silently and General Hammond introduced General Landry as the new Commander of the base. He listened to Hank's short speech and as everyone started to applaud when he had finished, Jack headed to the elevators, thinking this would be his very last time at the SGC and he would never see Samantha Carter again.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Several hours later, Sam awoke and slowly turned her head, realizing she was in the infirmary. The room was quiet and all the lights were dimmed.

Dr. Brightman came into the room and noticed Sam looking around.

"Colonel, are you okay?"

"What happened?" Sam whispered.

"You were in an accident on your motorcycle. What's the last thing you remember?"

"I . . . uh . . . I remember getting on my motorcycle and leaving General O'Neill's house."

"You were struck by a truck when you left there."

"I was?"

"Yes."

Dr. Brightman filled her in on all her injuries and the surgeries she had been through.

"I was just going to go get some sleep but the nurses will be checking on you occasionally so let them know if you need anything."

As Dr. Brightman walked away, Sam stared at the ceiling and suddenly remembered the argument with Jack. Tears filled her eyes and she began to cry.

**~oOo~**

The next morning, Sam set up in bed, a tray of food in front of her. Dr. Brightman had told her she needed to eat to help get her strength back. After putting the last spoonful of oatmeal in her mouth, she took a sip of water as Jacob walked into the infirmary.

Sam set down the glass. "Dad, when did you get here?"

"George notified the Tok'ra on the day of the accident so I got here as fast as I could."

Before sitting down beside her, Jacob kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry this happened, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Tired, very sore, hurts to breathe, slight headache and I don't have much of an appetite."

They talked for a few minutes about the accident but neither one mentioned the argument between her and Jack.

"Sam, I want to tell you something that I've already told George, Daniel, Jack and Teal'c."

Sam pushed the tray aside. "What is it?"

Jacob took Sam's hand in his. "I wanted to use the hand device so I could help you get well but I don't have Selmak any more."

Sam frowned. "Why not?"

Sam listened intently as Jacob told her what had happened.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

"I've decided to come home, Sam. Things between me and the Tok'ra had not been going well before Selmak was removed and now that he's gone, I really have no reason to stay. Besides, I want to be here with you while you're recovering."

They both looked up to see Daniel coming through the door, carrying a vase filled with flowers. Sam smiled as he set them down on the bedside table.

Daniel leaned over and gave Sam a quick kiss on her cheek.

"These are from Teal'c and me."

"That's so sweet. Thank you."

Daniel pulled up a chair and sat down. "Whatever you need, Teal'c and I are here for you."

Jacob let go of Sam's hand and stood up. "I haven't had breakfast yet so I'll give you two some time to chat. I'll be back soon."

As they watched Jacob leave the infirmary, Sam lay back on the pillow and looked into Daniel's eyes. "Is Jack here?"

"He was but he left to go to his cabin. He stayed around long enough to make sure you weren't paralyzed and then he left. He thinks you hate him and you'll never want to see him again."

"I don't hate him, Daniel. I was the one that drove too fast and pulled out in front of the truck. That wasn't his fault."

"He told me about your argument and he deeply regrets what he said to you. When I saw Jack kneeling beside you on the road when you were hit, he was so upset. When we got you here to the infirmary, I found him sitting outside and when he told me what had happened, he started crying. That's only the second time I've ever seen Jack cry. He was so afraid that you would die and he felt it was all his fault. Jack loves you so much, Sam, and it really hurt him to see you with Pete, but I'm not making excuses for him because he should not have lost his temper and said what he did."

Sam looked at her hands. "I was so upset after talking to Jack. I apologized to him for getting involved with Pete but I guess it just wasn't good enough."

Daniel gently clasped Sam's hand. "Sam, Jack feels unworthy of you."

Sam frowned. "Unworthy of me? Why?"

"He carries a lot of baggage, thanks to the time he was in Special Ops and what happened with Sara and Charlie. You're very intelligent and beautiful and he's several years older than you. He thought you would find someone closer to your own age, someone smarter and better than he thinks he is. Jack comes across to most people as this confident man that can take on the world, but when it comes to you, he's insecure. Seeing you with Pete, getting engaged and having to work with you these past few months had become more than he could take."

"I never knew my engagement hurt him so much. Years passed and we never discussed how we felt about each other after the zatarc test. I thought he didn't care about me that way anymore. Until we argued that day, I never realized exactly how much I had hurt him by dating Pete; I wish I had never gotten involved with him. None of this would have happened if Jack and I had done something about our relationship after the zatarc test and now I may never see him again."

Sam suddenly burst into tears so Daniel stood and sat down beside her. He gently wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his chest.

**~oOo~**

Jack walked to his pond and sat down in a chair as the sun shone brightly and a chilly breeze blew around him. He pulled his jacket tighter and stared at the sparkling water.

He had left Colorado Springs two weeks ago and he had talked with Daniel every day to get an update on Sam's condition.

Since he had arrived here at his cabin, Sam had constantly been on his mind. He had awakened several times in the middle of the night as he dreamed over and over about the accident. He knew he would never forgive himself for hurting Sam but more than anything else, he knew he would never get out her out of his heart. He had been attracted to her since the day they had met and the longer he had known her, the deeper he had fallen in love with her. He missed going into her lab just to watch her work. He missed the way she would get so excited about some new alien technology. He missed the way she would giggle when he had told her a corny joke. He missed all those times they had flirted with each other. He missed the way she would try not to cry when they watched a sad movie scene. He missed their long conversations late at night on far away planets while Daniel and Teal'c slept. He missed her kindness. He missed the way her big blue eyes would sparkle when she was happy and the way her smile could light up a room. A grin came to his face as he remembered kissing Sam in the time loop.

The grin faded away as he bent over, put his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground, wishing he could see Sam just one more time to prove to himself that she really was okay.

**~oOo~**

As Sam slowly began to heal, she asked Dr. Brightman if she could move out of the infirmary to a private room. Dr. Brightman granted Sam's request and just having some privacy made her feel better.

Her leg was in a boot up to her knee and until her lung had completely healed and she could begin physical therapy for her hip and ankle, she was now using a wheelchair.

Jacob had gone back to see the Tok'ra to inform them that since he no longer had Selmak, he felt that this was the best time to end his relationship with them and to permanently return to Earth.

Daniel had told Sam how upset her Dad had been with Jack the day she had been injured, but not wanting to get into an argument with her Dad, Sam had avoided talking with him about it for now.

Dr. Brightman allowed Sam to do some work on her computer for a few hours each day, but she was surprised to find out how quickly she grew tired and found herself taking naps. Dr. Brightman assured her this was normal and she needed lots of rest to heal.

The time finally came when Dr. Brightman informed Sam that her lung was now working to full capacity and she wanted her to start physical therapy, so the Doctor removed the boot from her leg and allowed Sam to use a cane.

One evening after an exhausting workout with her therapist, Sam took a shower and went to her room. She eased herself down on the bed, thinking about her latest conversation this morning with Daniel. He had informed her that Jack was still calling to check on her.

Tears filled her eyes, wishing she could see Jack.

The phone rang on the bedside table so she quickly wiped her eyes and answered the phone.

"Colonel Carter."

"Colonel, this is Sergeant Adams. There's a Pete Shanahan on the phone. He asked to speak with you."

Sam didn't know what to think and didn't say anything for a moment.

"Colonel, are you there?"

"I'm here. Put him through please."

Sam gripped the receiver as she waited for Pete.

"Sam?"

"Pete, how did you get this number?"

"You gave it to me when we were dating."

"Oh, I forgot."

"I just wanted to see how you are."

"I'm slowly getting better but I have a long way to go. I'll be in physical therapy for a while yet."

"I'm glad you're okay. Sam, I miss you and I was just wondering if maybe you've changed your mind and we could see each other again."

Sam couldn't believe he was asking her this. "No, Pete, I haven't changed my mind. I was positive that we shouldn't see each other any more the day I broke our engagement."

"Does this have anything to do with O'Neill?"

"General O'Neill is not in my life, Pete. I haven't seen him or talked with him since the day of the accident."

"Do you mean to tell me that he just walked out on you completely? He hasn't even bothered to see if you're okay?"

"Pete, what goes on in my private life is none of your business. What we had between us is over so please don't call me anymore."

"If that's the way you want it, I hope you have a very happy life!" Pete yelled and hung up.

Sam set the receiver back on the phone, lay down on the bed and stared at the wall.

**~oOo~**

As time passed, Sam knew she was slowly getting better with the help of physical therapy, but she wished the recovery was quicker.

Sam slowly walked into the briefing room to see that General Landry and Dr. Brightman were waiting for her.

General Landry looked up at her and gave her a smile. "Have a seat."

She sat down in a chair and leaned her cane against the table.

"Dr. Brightman and I wanted to meet with you to go over your latest test results."

"Yes, sir."

Dr. Brightman looked into Sam's eyes. "First of all considering how badly you were injured, you're recovering very well."

The Doctor glanced at Hank and back at Sam. "There is no easy way to say this but I'm sure it has crossed your mind. Your hip replacement is doing well and your ankle is healing nicely but not to the point that you will ever be able to run the way you did before the accident."

"You're trying to tell me that I can't go through the stargate any more."

Dr. Brightman shook her head. "No, I'm afraid you can't."

General Landry clasped his hands together. "We just think it's too dangerous, Colonel. If you had to get away quickly from an enemy, there is a strong possibility that you could not run fast enough and I do not want to risk re-injuring your ankle and above all else, risking your life."

"I understand, sir. So where does that leave me?"

"You're still needed here and I want to stress to you that just because you won't be going on off-world missions any more, this will in no way disqualify you from future promotions."

"Thank you, sir."

"I have learned that you never had enough time to do all the work you wanted to do in your lab."

"No, sir, I didn't."

"Well, you do now. You will now be the lead scientist on the base. Dr. Lee and the other scientists and assistants will report directly to you. They are all very eager to work with you again."

Sam smiled. "Thank you, sir. That's very generous. Does this mean that Daniel and Teal'c will be assigned permanently to other teams?"

"Dr. Jackson will be researching the artifacts and other discoveries that the teams bring back to Earth from now on, and he told me that he has been asked by different colleges and universities to lecture as a guest archaeologist occasionally, so he will be working only part-time for the Air Force. He will only be going off-world when the need arises. Teal'c has informed me that he is leaving the SGC to work with Master Bra'tac in order to build the new Jaffa nation."

Sam looked surprised. "Teal'c had not told me he's leaving."

"He only made his decision recently, Colonel. I'm sure he will talk with you soon. SG-1 is quite a legend around here and now that Jack has retired and you will be starting your new position and Dr. Jackson and Teal'c are off to explore other interests, the President and I felt it just wouldn't be appropriate to start a new SG-1 team."

Sam nodded her head. "I agree, sir. Dr. Brightman, when can I return to work?"

"I'll let you start working half days, either in the morning or afternoon, to begin with. You are still healing and I will not allow you to overdo it."

"I understand."

General Landry smiled. "There is one more thing. Dr. Brightman and I agree that you're well enough to return to your own home."

Sam smiled. "Thank you so much, sir."

"You're welcome, Colonel. You're dismissed."

**~oOo~**

Sam unlocked the front door to her house and Daniel followed her inside.

They walked into the living room and Sam looked around. She sat down on the sofa and laid her cane beside her as Daniel sat across from her.

"I know you're relieved to be here, Sam."

"Yes, it's so good to be home again."

"I talked with Jack last night, Sam. He wanted to see how you were and I told him you were coming home today. He also told me that his real estate agent found a buyer for his house here in the Springs."

"We had some good times at his house, didn't we, Daniel?"

"We did. All those barbecues where Jack burned the meat."

Sam chuckled. "You and Jack arguing."

Daniel grinned. "Trying to teach Teal'c about Earth."

"Teal'c watching Star Wars movies over and over."

"You and Jack flirting with each other."

"I miss him."

"He misses you too."

"How do you know?"

"He said so."

"He did?"

"Sam, Jack has missed you terribly since he moved to Minnesota. Why do you think he still calls me to see how you are?"

Sam stared at the floor as she tried not to cry.

**~oOo~**

The next day, Sam sat down carefully on a stool in her lab and looked at all the various stacks of paper that people had put on her lab table in her absence. Notes from lab assistants, test results regarding alien technology, various memos and requests for her to review and approve. She sighed, knowing it would take hours to get through them all.

She heard a knock on the door and turned to see Teal'c coming toward her.

"Colonel Carter."

Sam smiled. "Hi, Teal'c."

"It is good to see that you are well enough to return to your duties."

"Yes, it's great to be back and doing something productive. General Landry told me you're leaving the SGC."

"I am. It was a difficult decision but I feel my time here on Earth has come to an end. I will be joining the Jaffa council, helping Bra'tac in any way I can. I must go where I am needed most."

Sam stood from her stool as tears came to her eyes. She put her hands on his upper arms, leaned up and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Your friendship has meant so much to me all these years we've worked together. You've always been there for me, not only as a teammate, but as a close friend. I will miss you more than I can say, but you have to promise you'll come back and visit."

"I will."

"Did you tell Jack you're leaving?"

"I did. He wished me well and requested that I come visit him at his cabin."

"Please keep in touch with us, Teal'c. I'm going to miss you."

The next morning, the gate room was filled with people as Sam and Daniel stood in the front of the group and General Landry and Teal'c stood on the ramp. After General Landry spoke briefly, Daniel put his arm around Sam's shoulder as they watched Teal'c walk up the ramp. He turned around and held up his hand in goodbye as tears spilled from Sam's eyes.

**~oOo~**

Daniel pulled up in the parking lot of the restaurant that Sam had chosen and parked. Stepping out of the car, he went around to the passenger side and grabbed Sam's crutches from the back seat. Sam opened the door as he held out his hand to help her stand and they went inside.

The waiter led them to a booth in the corner. Sam sat down and propped her cane on the bench beside her as Daniel sat across from her.

After the waiter had taken their orders, they began to talk.

"Thanks for letting me choose the restaurant, Daniel."

"You're welcome. It's just good to see you back to your old self. Well, almost."

They gazed out the window for a few moments as they watched the sun slowly set behind the Rocky Mountains.

Sam turned to Daniel. "I've been thinking about something."

"What's that?" Daniel asked as he took a sip of water.

"I want to go see Jack."

Daniel's eyes grew wide. "You do?"

"I need to try to make it clear to him that the accident wasn't all his fault. I need to try to make things right between us again. He needs to know that I still love him. Do you think it's a good idea or is this just wishful thinking on my part?"

"You'll never know until you try. I know that Jack still feels guilty, so you will have to make the first move."

"How did this get so complicated, Daniel? We always had the regulations standing in our way, then there was Pete. Then the accident happened. Why can't we have just a little happiness together?"

Daniel took Sam's hand. "You still can, Sam. You still love each other so go make yourself . . . and Jack . . . happy."

**~oOo~**

Jack leaned against the porch post of his cabin as he took a sip of coffee and watched the rain fall. The rain reminded him of an off-world mission that SG-1 had been on. It was late at night as a light mist fell on the planet. He sat with his P-90 on his lap, keeping watch and trying to stay warm by the fire when Sam came out of her tent and told him she couldn't sleep. They began to talk and she revealed to him that as a little girl, she loved to watch the rain from the bay window of her bedroom. Her cat would come in and jump up on the bench beside her, settle on her lap and she would pet her cat as they gazed outside and watched the rain drip from the leaves of the tree beside her window. Sometimes her Mom would bring a blanket and they would snuggle together and talk. As she would close her eyes and fall asleep, her Mom would gently pick her up, lay her on the bed and cover her with the blanket. Sam blinked back tears, telling him that, although her Mom had died long ago, she still missed her.

He pictured Sam as a little girl, holding her cat while gazing out the window at the rain.

It had now been five months since Sam was injured and he still thought about her every day.

Pouring the lukewarm coffee on the ground, he turned around and went back in the house.

Just as he set the coffee cup in the sink, his cell phone rang so he took it out of his pocket.

"Hello."

"Hey, Jack."

"Daniel. How ya doin'?"

"I'm good. Just wanted to check and see how you are."

"Been raining a lot the last few days so I'm getting cabin fever."

"Well, it can't rain forever."

"No, it can't. How's Sam?"

"She's good, back in her lab and working again. General Landry made her lead scientist on the base. From talking with Dr. Lee, everyone is glad to have her back. Because of her weak ankle, General Landry and Dr. Brightman will not allow her to go off-world any more."

Jack shook his head. "That's my fault."

"Jack, Sam is okay with it and I didn't tell you that to make you feel guilty. I took her out to dinner last night and she said that since you've retired, Teal'c has left and I'm not on the base as much, she really didn't want to be assigned to another team anyway. She also talked about you."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "What did she say?"

"She admitted that she's still in love with you."

Jack sat down on the sofa. "Really? That's a surprise. I thought she'd probably hate me for the rest of her life."

"She doesn't . . . and you still love her too."

"Yes, I do."

"Sam has forgiven you, Jack. She understands that what you said to her that day was said out of hurt pride."

"I still haven't forgiven myself though."

"Well, you should. You can't change what happened."

**~oOo~**

Jacob leaned against the wall as he watched the physical therapist put Sam through her routine.

Perspiration glistened on Sam's forehead as she pushed herself to complete her exercises.

After Sam was finished, she wiped her face with a towel and came walking toward Jacob.

"How ya doing, kid?"

"Just peachy, Dad."

Jacob smiled. "Glad to hear it. How about we go out to dinner before we head to your house?"

"Sounds good. I'll go shower and meet you outside the locker room."

"Okay. Take your time. I'm in no rush."

As Sam stood under the warm water, she began to think about her Dad and how the accident had brought them closer and she was glad to have him around. They didn't talk much about what had happened that fateful day, knowing how much it had upset him. He had been so afraid that she would die.

Every time she started to mention anything about Jack, he would change the subject. Up until then, he and Jack had been friends but she feared the accident had caused irreparable harm to their friendship. Knowing how stubborn her Dad could be, it would probably take a miracle for him to forgive Jack.

As she dried off and got dressed, she was determined to talk with her Dad tonight and tell him her plans. She knew he wouldn't agree with her, but it was her life and she was determined to live it with or without his approval.

After they had eaten and arrived at her house, she asked Jacob to sit down on the sofa.

"What's up, sweetheart?"

Sam took Jacob's hands in hers and looked into his eyes. "Dad, I want you to stay calm and let me finish what I want to say without interrupting. Okay?"

"I don't think I'm going to like this."

"No, you probably won't but I want you to hear me out."

"Okay."

"I want to see Jack."

Jacob pulled his hands from Sam's and frowned. "Have you lost your mind?"

"I've had a lot of time to think about things since the accident. Everything that happened was not Jack's fault and . . ."

"Sam, you can't . . ."

Sam held up her hands. "Dad."

"I'm sorry. Go on."

"After having many long talks with Daniel, I found out how badly I hurt Jack when I got engaged to Pete. I'm the biggest reason Jack retired. He couldn't watch me marry Pete and work with me any more. When Jack and I went through the zatarc test, I was the one that suggested we leave our feelings in that room and Jack reluctantly agreed and we never discussed it again. That was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life, Dad. You don't know how many times I've regretted it. We could have worked something out so we could be together but we didn't. We went on as though nothing had happened. Jack has never been one to discuss his feelings so after years passed and we never talked about it, I thought Jack didn't care about me anymore and I got involved with Pete. All those months of being with Pete hurt Jack deeply and I didn't realize how much until the day we argued. I would do anything in the world to take back the hurt I caused him. I do realize that Jack should not have said what he did to me that day but we've both been hurt, we've both made mistakes and I don't want us to go through the rest of our lives with the way things are. If we don't settle this, I will always wonder if we gave up without really trying to see if we can have a relationship."

"If Jack hadn't said those things to you that day, Sam, the accident wouldn't have happened."

"Yes, I was upset but I should have had enough sense to look before I pulled out onto the road. That was my mistake, not Jack's, and I don't blame him for that."

"Well, I do, Sam! He hurt you and it was so uncalled for. You don't know how scared I was to see you lying in that bed, not knowing if you were going to live or die. At that moment, I hated Jack O'Neill for what he had done to you and I probably always will."

Sam tried to stay calm. "I know this is hard for you but I need to find out if Jack and I still have a chance. Daniel told me that Jack calls him all the time to see how I'm doing and he deeply regrets what happened that day."

Sam paused for a moment. "Think about it this way, Dad. The day that you were supposed to pick up Mom and you were running late and she died in the taxi, I could have never forgiven you or spoken to you ever again but I did forgive you."

Jacob stared at the floor and didn't speak for several moments. "I'd never thought about it that way and I guess you're right but it's still hard for me to forgive Jack."

"It's time for me to see if Jack wants me in his life. I know it's hard for you to forgive Jack but nobody's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. I love him, Dad. I miss him and I want to be with him if he feels the same way."

Jacob looked into Sam's eyes and took her hands in his. "Okay, Sam, this is your decision, but if he ever hurts you in any way or if he makes you cry ever again, so help me, I will get a gun and shoot him. No questions asked."

Sam smiled. "I'll warn him."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sam stepped off the plane and came inside the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

Walking to the luggage carousel, she waited patiently for her bag. As she reached to get it, she heard a voice and looked up to see a man about her age standing beside her.

"Let me help you with that."

The man picked up her heavy bag and set it on the floor.

"Always glad to help a pretty lady. You take care now."

Sam smiled. "I will. Thanks."

Sam headed to the rental car place to get the SUV she had reserved earlier. After getting the keys and putting her bag in the back, she got into the driver's seat and took a few moments to catch her breath.

The long months of therapy had helped to regain most of her stamina, but she knew her ankle would never be fully back to normal, as she remembered the conversation she had with Dr. Brightman and General Landry when they had told her that gate travel was permanently off limits.

She looked over the directions to Jack's cabin that Daniel had given her and laid them on the seat beside her.

The late September weather in Minnesota was much cooler here than it was yet in Colorado. Sam shivered as she started the motor, turned on the heat and headed out into the traffic.

After driving for a while, she pulled into a parking space of a restaurant to take a bathroom break and get something to eat.

Getting back into the vehicle, she set a steaming cup of coffee in the cup holder and estimated she was about an hour away from Jack's cabin.

She began to feel a little nervous the closer she came to his place. She had considered calling to let him know she wanted to see him, but decided it was best to surprise him. She had to make the effort to make things right between them again. She didn't want Jack to go through the rest of his life feeling guilty for the accident, especially since she now understood just how much her engagement to Pete had hurt him. He had hurt her too the day they argued at his house, but she just wanted to put all that in the past and start anew.

She choked back tears, knowing that she still loved Jack and, according to Daniel, Jack still loved her. But was their love for each other strong enough to get them over this hurdle?

So many scenarios played through her mind about how Jack would react when she arrived. Would he be glad to see her? Was he now with another woman? That last thought was one she didn't want to dwell on but as she did, she realized how upset she would be and knew now how Jack had felt when he had seen her with Pete.

Picking up the directions, she quickly scanned them again. Up ahead was the turnoff to the cabin and she felt the nervousness increase.

Turning onto the dirt road, she noticed the leaves were changing colors. She had been so lost in thought while driving that she just now noticed the vivid shades of red and bright gold swaying in the cool air as the sun peeked through the forest.

Coming around a curve, she could see Jack's cabin up ahead and smoke billowing from the chimney. The place looked almost like she had pictured it and she could see how well Jack fit in here.

She took a deep breath and whispered "please be glad to see me, Jack."

Coming to a stop in front of the cabin, she got out of the SUV and grabbed her cane, her left leg feeling a little weak from all the riding. Taking a moment to stretch her legs, she breathed in the crisp air and looked around. Just below the cabin was the pond that Jack had told her about so many times. She imagined Jack sitting in a chair, feet propped up on a cooler with his ankles crossed, a fishing rod in his hands with his cap pulled down over his eyes.

Gathering her courage, she walked up on the porch and hesitated for a moment. After knocking twice and not getting an answer, she turned to her left just as Jack walked around the corner of the cabin. They came to an abrupt halt and stared at each other.

Jack had lost a little weight and looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days. He was still so handsome and sexy and she had missed him so much, that all she wanted to do at that very moment was hurry to him and kiss him. Taking a few steps forward, she smiled a nervous smile and could tell that he was shocked to see her.

"Hello, Jack."

Jack continued to stare as he slowly walked toward her and as he came closer, his eyes went to the cane in her hand. His thoughts returned to the last time he had seen Sam, lying in a bed in the infirmary, having just awakened after hours of surgery. He had thought that he would never see her again, thinking that she probably hated him for having said what he did the day they had argued. He wanted to run to her and beg her forgiveness but he needed to find out why she had come all this way to see him.

"Why are . . . why are you here?"

Sam couldn't tell if he was happy to see her or not.

"I wanted to talk with you" she answered as a sudden rush of wind swept past them.

Jack hurried to the door and opened it. "Let's get out of this cool air."

He followed Sam inside as she looked around. The interior of the cabin was cozy and warm with a crackle of fire in the fireplace and a wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen.

Sam turned to see Jack staring at her.

"I see why you love it here. This is really nice."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks, but could I use your bathroom?"

"Sure, it's right down there" Jack pointed "last door on the left."

Jack watched as Sam used her cane as she went down the hall and some of the guilt he had felt began to creep in again. She walked with a slight limp and looked a little older. The stress from the surgeries and months of therapy had taken a toll on her body.

Wandering over to the fireplace, he put two more logs on the fire, feeling the rush of heat as he did so.

As Sam came back into the room, Jack turned to face her.

"Have a seat."

Sam sat down on one end of the sofa and laid down her cane beside her as Jack sat at the other end.

Sam clasped her hands in her lap. "I contemplated a long time whether or not I should come here but I wanted to see you."

"How are you?"

"Still haven't got all my strength back and my ankle is still a little weak but overall, I'm doing pretty well."

"Daniel told me that you're working part-time in your lab again and Hank and Dr. Brightman have restricted you from going off-world."

"Because of my ankle, Dr. Brightman won't allow it, but it's nice to be back in a routine. I will admit though, I miss going through the gate."

They sat in silence for a few moments and Sam could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Jack, I don't know where to begin exactly but I want to ask you if we can put everything behind us, my engagement to Pete, the accident, just everything that's hurt both of us and be friends again."

Jack stood up, put his hands in his pockets, walked over to a window and stared outside. "I'm surprised that you're even speaking to me, much less want to be friends again."

"Since the accident happened and you retired, Daniel and I have talked a lot. I never knew, until Daniel explained to me, how upset you really were that I got engaged to Pete and I just want to tell you once again that I'm truly very sorry I hurt you."

Jack turned around, sat back down and stared at the floor. "I can't forgive myself for the things I said that day, Sam. Although it hurt to see you with Pete, you had the right to a private life and who you dated was really none of my business. Even though you apologized for hurting me, I was hurt and full of pride and you didn't deserve the things I said to you. You're the last person in the world I ever wanted to hurt and I did anyway."

"On the drive here from the airport, I went over and over in my mind what I wanted to say to you when I arrived, so I'm going to be honest."

Jack stared at Sam, holding his breath, anxious to hear what she was about to say.

"After the zatarc test, we went all those years without discussing how we felt about each other and we should have. Since the accident happened, I decided if I ever saw you again that I was going to tell you that I've missed you and I still want you in my life . . . if you want me in yours, that is."

Jack moved closer to Sam, took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "Are you sure, Sam? I can't take back the words I said that day. I can still see you lying on that road, broken and battered and bruised. I was so scared you were dead. It was the worst day of my life, except for Charlie."

"Jack, it wasn't all your fault. I was the one driving my motorcycle too fast. That was my stupid mistake, so please don't blame yourself."

"I'm sure your Dad didn't want you to come here. I can't blame Jacob if he still hates me."

"This has been very hard on Dad, I won't deny that. When I first told him that I was thinking about coming to see you, he wasn't too happy about it but I asked him how he would have felt if I had not forgiven him for not picking up my Mom that day he was supposed to when she died in the taxi. He admitted he had never thought of it that way. Dad and I could have gone the rest of our lives not speaking to each other and what good would that have done either of us? That helped Dad understand my reasons for wanting to come see you. I think I should warn you though that Dad has vowed to shoot you if you ever hurt me again or make me cry."

Jack shook his head. "I certainly can't blame him for that."

"I still care about you and everything that happened between us was not your fault. Please believe that."

"How can you forgive me so easily, Sam?"

"I had a lot of time to think while I lay in the infirmary day after day. If we had been more open and honest about our feelings, we could have found a way around the regulations. I know I'm the one that suggested we keep our feelings in the room . . ."

"And I agreed to it."

Sam nodded her head. "Yes, and that's where we made our mistake. We could have found a way to be together. I loved my job, Jack, but being with you was way more important but I was too foolish to see it at the time. I could have stayed with the Air Force but worked in another area of the military. It wouldn't have been that hard for us to work something out. We wasted all those years and look where it got us."

Tears started down Sam's face so Jack pulled her to him as she cried. Jack wrapped his arms tightly around her and let her cry out all the feelings she had been holding in for so long.

A few moments later, Sam quickly wiped her face as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Sam."

"And I love you."

Jack put his arms around her again as he lowered his head to hers and gently kissed her lips.

After talking awhile longer, Jack felt they needed a break so he suggested he show Sam his property. He gave Sam one of his warm jackets to wear and they went out on the porch. She slipped her arm through his so she wouldn't have to use her cane.

Jack was so excited to have Sam here at the one place he had always wanted to show her. Never in a hundred years did he think she would show up and tell him she still wanted him in her life. He had missed her so much and now that they were finally together, he was not going to let her go. He knew he would have to face Jacob eventually, he could not avoid him forever, but he would deal with him when the time presented itself.

After showing Sam a small area of land where he had planted a vegetable garden, they circled the pond, climbed up a small hill and looked down on the cabin. It was a beautiful scene with the smoke rising from the chimney and the different shades of autumn leaves as they fell gently to the ground.

Sam stopped walking so Jack stopped too.

"Are you getting tired? We can go back inside."

"No, I'm okay. Just wanted to stop a minute to look around and breathe the fresh air."

They stood in silence for a few moments until Sam looked at Jack.

"Jack, you know all those times you invited me to come here with you?"

"Yeah."

"I really wanted to come, you don't know how much I wanted to be here with you, but . . ."

Jack grinned. "But you knew we might break some regulations . . . big time."

Sam nodded her head. "It was too tempting. Every time you left to come here, I stayed in my lab, working myself to death, trying not to think about how much fun it would be . . . just the two of us."

"I thought that's why you wouldn't come but I kept hoping and asking anyway."

"I'm sorry."

"You're here now and that's what matters."

They went a little further and Jack noticed Sam biting her lip so he stopped and faced her.

"What is it?"

Sam stared at his chest. "On the drive up here, I was thinking about what I would do if you had another woman with you and even if you didn't have someone with you, I was scared that you wouldn't want me here and you'd send me away."

Jack put his finger under Sam's chin and raised her head so she had to look at him. "Samantha, do you not know by now that you are the only woman I love? The only woman that I'm _in_ love with? I don't want to be with any other woman. Only you."

Sam burst into tears as she threw her arms around Jack's neck and cried.

Jack held her tightly, relishing this time he could finally hold her in his arms without breaking regulations, without the fear that someone would see them and tell them what they were doing was wrong.

Jack held on longer, knowing that Sam needed his arms around her, as much as he needed hers around him.

He closed his eyes, realizing that this time yesterday, he would never have dreamed that Sam would show up here, to come back into his life so suddenly, but he was so thankful that she had.

He opened his eyes as Sam leaned back and he gently wiped away her tears.

"I so want us to be okay, Jack. Are we okay?" she whispered and he realized that she still needed his reassurance.

Jack smiled as he gently touched her cheek. "We are more okay now than we've ever been, Sam, and that's the way it's going to stay. I promise."

The late afternoon sun was setting as they walked slowly down the hill. The air was getting cooler as Jack grinned at Sam's rosy cheeks.

"We need to get you inside before your cheeks get chapped from the cold."

Sam put her fingers to her face. "I am getting a little chilled."

Jack put his arm around her shoulder and Sam put her arm around his waist as they headed back to the warmth of the cabin.

As they came inside, Sam took off Jack's jacket, handed it to him and grabbed her cane.

"What smells so good?"

"Possum stew" Jack answered with a straight face.

Sam stared at him. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true, Sam. Possum is a delicacy around here."

Sam tried not to smile. "Did you catch it yourself?"

"Sure, I have a few possum traps. They aren't hard to make. Just nail a few boards together, throw a piece of raw meat in it, the possum goes after the meat, the door comes down and bam! Got yourself a possum. Strip the fur off, throw it in a pot with a few vegetables, cook it awhile and you have a great meal."

Jack stared at her but Sam could see the mischief in his eyes.

It was all Sam could do not to smile. "Well, you can have possum stew if you want to, Jack, I'll just eat bread and water."

Jack started to laugh. "It's just vegetable soup, Sam, a recipe that Sara used to make. No possum. I promise."

Sam shook her head and giggled, realizing how much she had missed Jack's sense of humor.

After they had eaten, Sam stood at the sink washing dishes as Jack dried them and put them away.

As they talked and teased each other, Jack's cell phone rang. Throwing the towel on the cabinet, he dug the phone out of his pocket and answered.

"Hello."

"Hey, Jack."

"Daniel."

Sam turned her head and smiled.

"How are you?"

"Just dandy, Daniel. How are you?"

"I'm good."

Jack put his hand over the phone and whispered "does he know you were coming?"

Sam nodded her head as she dried her hands.

"I was just wondering" Daniel continued "did Sam show up yet?"

"Sam? No, haven't seen her. Why do you think she would be here?"

Sam covered her mouth so she wouldn't laugh out loud.

"Now you have me worried, Jack. She was going to fly to Minneapolis, rent a car and come see you today. She should have been there by now. You should call the police and have them search for her or . . ."

Jack started to laugh. "Daniel, calm down. Sam is standing right here. I was just yanking your chain."

"Jack!"

Jack handed the phone to Sam.

"Hey, Daniel."

"Sam, Jack scared me. I was beginning to think something had happened to you."

"No, I'm fine."

"So, how's it going?"

"We're good. We're working things out."

"Glad to hear it."

Jack came up behind Sam, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

Sam smiled. "We've talked a lot and everything's going great."

"I'm happy for you both. Well, I won't keep you. Just wanted to be sure you arrived safely. Let me know when you're coming home and I'll pick you up at the airport."

"Thanks, Daniel, for being such a sweet friend."

"You're welcome. Makes me happy to know things are okay with you two."

"Me too. We'll talk soon."

Sam pushed the button to end the call and turned around to face Jack.

"You love to tease him, don't you?"

Jack grinned. "Yeahsureyoubetcha."

Jack tilted his head and gazed into Sam's eyes. He had always loved her eyes. Over the years, he had learned her moods, just by looking into her eyes. When she was happy, her eyes twinkled. When she was sad, the blue became more gray. When she was angry, the whites shown even more prominently. At this moment, they twinkled.

Sam wasn't sure what Jack was thinking, but when he looked at her this way, she wished she could crawl inside his head to hear his every thought.

"Samantha, would you let me make love to you?"

Sam gently kissed his lips. "Does that answer your question?"

"But I don't want to hurt you. I mean, I know you're still healing and if you think it would be too soon just yet, we could wait and . . ."

Sam put her finger on Jack's lips. "Jack, I'll be fine."

"Okay. I need to shower first and shave."

Sam grinned. "We could shower together but don't shave, I think you look sexy."

Jack's eyes widened and he smiled. "Sexy? Well, in that case, I'll grow a full beard."

Sam giggled as Jack took her hand and led her to the bathroom.

They turned to each other and Jack realized that one of his many fantasies about Sam was about to come true. He had dreamed of undressing her slowly so he could get a very good look at the body that had always been covered with clothes; clothes that were sometimes covered in mud, spotted with blood or soaked with rain. It didn't matter what she wore or if she was clean or dirty. To him, she was simply beautiful.

Standing in the shower together, Sam put her hands on Jack's waist as Jack poured shampoo onto her hair. Sam closed her eyes as Jack gently massaged her scalp. After a few minutes with her eyes still closed, she leaned back and the shampoo cascaded down her back.

Jack leaned over and gently kissed her eyelids.

Sam smiled and opened her eyes as Jack picked up a bar of soap and gently washed her body. After he was finished, Sam did the same to him.

After they had showered and dried each other off, Jack picked up Sam and carried her to his bed.

Jack had had sex with many women, but Sara had been the only woman he had truly made love with . . . until now.

He laid Sam down carefully and began to explore her body.

**~oOo~**

Sam lay on her side as she awoke in the early morning light and opened her eyes. She could hear rain falling outside and for a moment she forgot where she was until she felt warm lips kiss her neck.

She turned over on her back to see Jack with his head propped on his fist, looking at her. He put his other arm across her waist and gently moved his hand back and forth against her soft skin.

"Good morning, Sam."

"Hey" she whispered.

"Sleep well?"

"Best I've slept in months."

"Must be the cool and rainy weather."

Sam grinned. "Or maybe it was all those 'activities' from last night that made me tired enough to sleep."

Jack smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. "Those 'activities' are something we will have to engage in quite often."

Sam leaned up and kissed him. "Sounds wonderful."

The smile left Jack's face.

Sam set up, pulled the blanket around her and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Jack set up and faced her. "I've been thinking."

"About?"

"Too much time has passed already, Sam. Time that we've wasted and now that you're here, I don't want us to spend another day apart. I've been miserable without you. I love you and I want you with me for the rest our lives. I want you to be my wife."

Sam stared at Jack for several seconds. "You mean it?"

"I've never been more sincere about anything in my life. So, will you marry me?"

Sam nodded her head as she whispered "yes."

Jack took her hands in his. "Now that we have that decided I want to make something perfectly clear. You will not give up your career with the Air Force. We can stay in your house in the Springs or we can buy another one and we'll come here when we need to get away."

Sam smiled. "That would be perfect but what will you do? I know how easily you get bored."

"I'll find something to do. Your career comes first."

**~oOo~**

Jack didn't think he had ever been this nervous. He tried to watch TV but couldn't concentrate on any of the programs. After sitting for a few minutes, he would stand up and glance out the front window of Sam's house. This had been going on for the past hour and the longer he had to wait, the more nervous he became. He felt like he was sixteen years old again, meeting his latest girlfriend's father for the first time.

Wandering into the kitchen to get a drink of water, he filled a glass and took a big gulp, leaned against the counter and tried to calm his nerves.

He poured the rest of the water down the drain and set the glass in the sink when he heard the front door open and the voices of Jacob and Sam.

He stood up straight as Sam walked into the living room and Jacob followed.

Jacob stopped and stared at Jack as Sam glanced back and forth between the men.

Jack finally spoke. "Jacob."

"Jack."

Sam could see the tension between them already as they stared at each other. Trying to ease the situation, she walked over to Jack and put her arm around his waist. "Did you have a nice day?"

Jack smiled as he put his arm around her shoulder. "It was good. Found a house that I think you would like so we'll have to take a look at it."

Sam smiled. "That's great."

Jack looked back at Jacob as he continued to stare. "Is there something you would like to say to me, Jacob? Might as well get it all out in the open."

"Sam tells me that you proposed."

"Yes, sir, I did. Is that okay with you or would you rather I just drop off the face of the Earth?"

"Not long ago, that would have been exactly what I would have wished for, Jack. Although Sam has made her feelings for you very clear to me, I have a few things to say to you."

Sam dropped her hand from Jack's waist and took a step toward Jacob. "Dad, please don't . . ."

Jack put his hand on her shoulder. "No, Sam, let him speak."

Jacob walked over to a chair and sat down. Jack and Sam sat across from him on the sofa.

"The last time I saw you, Jack, I wanted to beat the crap out of you."

"Yes, sir, and I don't blame you for that."

"It took me a long time to get my head around the fact that Sam wants to marry you after the way you treated her, but she tells me you're truly sorry for what happened."

"I am sorry, Jacob. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Jacob paused, looked at the floor and back up at Jack.

"I realize I've made mistakes in my life too; one big mistake that Sam forgave me for so I need to forgive you. I haven't done that completely yet, but for Sam's sake, I am trying. You must understand that although Sam is a grown woman, she is still my baby and I will not have you treating her the way you did before."

"I understand. I know you want to protect her. For what it's worth, it took me a long time to forgive myself for what I said to Sam. I was shocked when Sam showed up at my cabin and told me she wanted to start over, but I was never so grateful for anything in my life to know that she wanted to give us another chance."

Jack took Sam's hand and held it tightly. "I love Sam, Jacob. I will do my best to never hurt her again. Not intentionally. I promise."

Jacob stared at Jack. "You better not. I will hunt you down and rip your heart out if you do and after I'm dead and gone, if you ever hurt her, I will haunt you for the rest of your life."

Jack nodded his head. "I understand."

Jack held out his hand to shake Jacob's.

"Are we okay?"

Jacob hesitated for a moment before shaking Jack's hand. "We're okay."

Sam glanced between Jack and her Dad and stood up. "Now that you've cleared the air, let's go get something to eat."

The men stood up, Sam looped her arm through Jacob's and they headed to the door as Jack followed.

Sam grinned as she squeezed her Dad's arm. "We have a wedding to plan."

Jack's eyes grew wide. "Wedding. That means cake. There will be cake, won't there, Sam?"

Sam glanced over her shoulder and winked. "You bet cha."

Jack smiled. "Sweet."

The End


End file.
